Sunday, May 5, 2013

Can exes be friends?

Happy Sunday girlies! I hope y'all have had the BEST weekend! I know I have! Shout out to Haley over here for letting me house/dog sit for her! 

Her house is absolutely beautiful and her dog is the sweetest!! This has been a nice, long, relaxing weekend and I'm thankful she allowed me to crash here for the weekend.

So, getting to the meat of this post:
Can exes be friends. I took to twitter for some opinions on this question! 

As you can see, everyone agrees with me. I didn't voice my opinion on twitter because I wanted people's opinion to not be based off of mine.

I do not think it's EVER possible to be friends with an ex. This is my opinion. I've seen friend after friend try to run back to the same guy two, sometimes THREE different times before they realize what's wrong. 

Girls are wired to seek and thrive off of the love they get. So, if they aren't getting love from a father figure, they'll run to men- 9 times of out 10. It's sad and heartbreaking that there are so many broken homes where dads aren't standing up and being the men God has called them to be. This, my friends, is why girls run back to the same guy that continually breaks their heart. It's ALL THEY KNOW. Seek here, seek there, seek his bed, seek his attention- to find love! When all they need to do is look up and fall in love with the most perfect man, JESUS! 

If you are one of these girls or know a girl that continually runs back to broken relationship, I am praying for you! I want to pray for you! A women's heart is the most tender and beautiful thing God created! Don't run to destruction of broken relationships. Run to Jesus. He's enough.

Okay, so here we go: 
Reasons exes can't be friends 

1. So, first off, let's look at the definition of friendship. "A platonic relationship with no romance (ie: without sex or romance)." Just by the definition alone- YOU CAN'T BE FRIENDS. It's impossible to go from a romantic relationship to a platonic one. It was lost in the relationship.

2. Whether you ever admit to anyone or not, as long as you are "friends" with an ex, you secretly think there's a chance of rekindled romance. It's impossible to "forget" every movie date, every conversation of a future with that person and every flower or card he ever gave you. I've never met a girl who was "friends" with an ex who didn't say one of the main reasons they WANTED to remain friends was because they thought a second chance was there. Even if there is, why would you sit around and wait on a guy. The biblical way of dating, marriage etc. all reveals that the MAN pursues the girl. Not that the MAN leads the girl on. You're worth more than a stand by girl. 

3. It's really torture, actually. If you are hanging out as friends and eating  ice cream and he makes you smile, you're going to want to kiss him. And then, it just goes down hill from there. Okay, so what, you end up kissing him. What if he has a girlfriend? Do you want to be known as the home wrecker. No, move on.

4. As a couple, you probably had a lot of mutual or couple friends. Okay, so then you want to still hang out as "friends" and it's super awkward for all the other friends. It's just weird.

5. It's going to be next to impossible for you to move on if you're still hanging around an old ex. How are you ever going to have the courage and motivation to hang out with a new man and give another man a chance out you're still following him around?

6. It's not healthy. I truly believe that there is nothing wrong with going out with several people before you find the one. For me, I've left that decision up to God. I honestly believe that the first man I date, I'll marry. It's just what I've prayed for and I honestly believe Jesus will honor that. I don't want to be in an unhealthy friendship because of a failed relationship with a man. I don't need to or want to make my life and relationships any harder than they are.

Remaining friends with an ex is sticky and messy. It leaves you with a heart full of false hope. The idea of getting back together will consume your thoughts and plans. I've met girls trough Facebook, etc. that have denied school acceptance letters and even jobs because they were waiting on an ex to realize they made a mistake. 

You don't have to be one of these girls. When you break up with someone, cut all ties. Unfriend them, unfollow them, delete their number. Don't answer their text, don't EVER agree to just "hang out." If you have the same circle of friends, let them know that if he is going to be there, they just can invite you next time. If you cut off all ties, the healing process for your heart can begin. Give it to God. Let God lead the right man to you. 

He already has your soulmate picked out. You can have your broken heart restored and purified of toxic relationships and then focus on making yourself ready for the next relationship. Don't ever second guess yourself and never, ever look back! 

Love y'all!

1 comment :

  1. I read a quote once that along the lines of "if you're still friends with an ex either you're still in love with each other or you never were". Which I think is pretty accurate. Friends who are friends after a relationship are either still holding out hope that they can be together again or they both realize that that the relationship was not what they wanted and are at peace with that (but that only happens after time! not the next day).

    Interesting topic!