Tuesday, June 18, 2013

the right man.

So, as much as I LOVE the characters that Zac Efron in The Lucky One and Josh Duhmal in Safe Haven play, they're not real men. And, even if your significant other is just like these fellas, if they don't love God, they aren't good men.
If you don't believe in God or care if he is in your relationship, I am praying for you. And, I don't mean that rudely. I really am praying for you. I'm obviously no expert on this matter (aka #single4life) but I have witnessed enough from friends, sisters, random strangers in the grocery store line-to know what I don't want in a man. And, there are a lot of qualities that as a woman of God, you shouldn't tolerate or want in the man you date, either.
Like I posted on Sunday, I truly believe that my daddy is the most Godly man that I know. I've never in my life met a man more dedicated to living his life out the way that the Lord did as well as my dad. His attitude and attributes are exactly what is on my list of qualities I want in a godly man.
I almost feel a little sorry for the men of our generation today. So many dad's walked out-and that destroys women and men alike. It messes with the men because they have NO example of what a man really is. The only example of a man they may ever see in life paves a road of leaving. That's wrong. And for the girls, we get messed up without a father in our life for SO many reasons. Without a Godly father to show us what true love is, we'll spend our entire lives searching for love in ALL the wrong places and people. It's a mess.
Fathers ARE the leaders of families.
That's biblical.
For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior.
Ephesians 5:23
Men and women are created different. Different genetics. Different emotions. We are physically different. God designed men and women this way for us to seek God different ways and for God to lead us to each other.
1. A man of God is a disciple of purity.
To be a disciple of something, that means that you are a student of something. This is saying that men are not TEACHERS of purity-that's Jesus. But, they are students and they can facilitate purity. In today's world, if a man remains pure before marriage, that's the most godly characteristic he can have. So many men today think that they deserve sex. They aren't living as a Godly man who knows his purpose is to protect and care for women (and women's purity) and they abuse purity. They think since they are big macho men, they can have sex with as many women as they want without a commitment attached to sex. That's so wrong. God designed men to protect and lead and guide women. If you are having sex before marriage, you aren't protecting a women, you're harming you. It's fun to you. Sex is everything to a woman. Don't have sex before marriage. Don't lead a woman to have sex, either. Step it up. Be the protector you're called to be.
2. A man of God has integrity.
I can hardly overstate the importance of integrity to a generation of men so more. But integrity’s benefits—character, a clear conscience, deep intimacy with God—argue its importance. What you do when no one is watching, that's what makes you a man. You're a "virgin" and a gentlemen but you stay up all night watching porn? Your integrity is now compromised. Did you forget that God sees everything. Step it up.
3. A man of God is a hard worker.
Back to daddy-o, but he is the hardest worker I know. He's a builder. He works 18 hours a day it seems like. He never complains. He is just a really hard worker. I don't care if you're a cashier at Target or a heart surgeon, but be a hard worker. Have dreams and goals and work hard to get them. You can be and do anything you want to be. If you are going after dreams that God has put in your heart, you cannot fail. It may take 20 times, but that's okay.
4. A man of God has a pure mind.
You have to be the total package, by default. You can't have integrity and purity and a dirty mind. If you are constantly filling your mind with scripture, Godly thoughts and right thinking, you're doing it right. Reading dirty magazines, going to dirty places and tempting dirty things leaves you just that-dirty. Clean it up, fellas. You've got a whole generation of boys looking up to you. What kind of man do you want your son to be? Be that man.
5. A man of God doesn't mislead women in relationships.
This is probably the biggest one that I've witnessed in friends relationships. Girls will have sex with you because you promise a ring. Girls will have a Pinterest board of your wedding once y'all are FB official. Don't promise a girl a future just so you can make out whenever you want. It's damaging to a woman's heart to mislead her. Men, as a whole, are a lot less affected by broken hearts than girls are. And that's just because of emotional differences in men and women. Girls will still think they have a chance with their ex until they are walking down the aisle. Men, that's wrong. If you don't see a future, CUT IT OFF. Stop texting her and calling her "just to make sure you're okay." Hello, she probably was until your name pops up on her phone and there she goes again. Cut it off and cut her out of your life. There is NO SUCH THING as friendly exes. You're either friends because one of y'all started batting for the other team, or y'all are still getting it on.
There are so many more qualities that a man of God possesses-truthfulness, respect, honor, kindness, self-control, patience and devotion. I know that it goes both ways. Women have to give y'all something to respect. But, step up and be the man God called you to be.


  1. This was such a great post! Number 5 especially applies to me, there was a guy at school last semester that totally mislead me and I was crushed when I realized that he had no intentions of actually wanting a relationship with. And totally agree with you about the purity thing girl! I think oftentimes purity is almost preached about more towards the ladies, but it's just as important for the guys too!

    I think that before I do date someone I want to develop a solide friendship with them first. Being just friends would be a great way to get a sense of the person they are!

    xoxo Miss ALK

  2. Awesome stuff Katelyn! A call to men is very important. I challenge men often to step it up in integrity and purity so that their annointing will increase as their influence increases. Thank you for taking the time of giving your woman of God perspective!