Thursday, February 20, 2014

satisfied while single.

My heart is so blessed through this little blog! I never thought when I started writing a year ago that I would be able to have had the experiences I've had or met the people I've met in the past year. I started blogging because I always thought I had so much to say. I've learned so much in a year and I wouldn't want to do one day differently. I'm so blessed everyday by y'all through your emails. Nothing is as exciting and fun as reading a message from y'all. So, thank you!! I got a message on Facebook today that I get a lot, so I figured maybe a few more people might stumble across here and need to read it, too.
The content of the message was the person wanted to know my secret to being "single" and "happy."
Well, here we go.
The secret is Jesus. I was the cliché Christian  in high school when people would be changing their relationship status on Facebook from "single" to "in a relationship with ______" mine would say "in a relationship with Jesus." Ha. Which, I mean, looking back, it was true. It still is. Jesus has to be the foundation in your heart before you start building a relationship with a man. A relationship with a man can not be the foundation of your heart. Or, it shouldn't be. There is no man in the world that can love and give and take as much as Jesus can. I heard an amazing quote once that said "Jesus is the only third party in a relationship that can make the relationship work." Wow. Powerful. So good.
It's so hard for girls to be single. I don't know why because I've never been a girl who HAS to be in a relationship. I've blogged about this before, I mean, that's 99% of what I blog about, BUT, I was taught that God is your first love. And, every time you get into a relationship with someone, that person gets a piece of your heart. You might not agree with my theory on relationships and that's okay, these are just my opinions. I think that more and more girls are not guarding their hearts and getting into relationships too soon. I mean, a relationship is a BIG deal. It is. I was taught that you "date" people you could see yourself marrying. I wasn't taught the style of dating just for the fun of it. Because, really, it isn't fun to mess with people's emotions and hormones and mind if you think about it. "Oh, let's just go to the movies and make out and have sex and not worry about anything because we are just having fun." See my point?
I pray everyday for my future husband. I don't know who he is, obviously, but I pray for him. He may be someone I know or someone I won't meet for 2 more years but I'm praying for him. I want him to have pure motives, a great work ethic and a sense of humor. I want to be in relationship that leads to a marriage. This may sound "scary" to guys but I'm not 18 anymore. I'm not 30, either. I'm 23. Old enough to know what I want in a man and old enough to expect it. There are so many qualities that I think are attractive in guys. I want someone who loves Jesus. I want a man that puts Jesus above me. (Remember, solid foundation!!)
I have the best example of what a husband/father/man should be in my dad. He and my mom have been married for 29 years. They love each other but they love God more. My dad has sacrificed more than any other man I've ever known. He's built a million dollar business from scratch. He's just the real deal. And, he's the same man who led me to Christ in a southern Baptist revival when I was 6 and he helped my pastor baptize me and he gave me a purity ring when I was 18 and he's just always been consistent.
Consistency is something he's instilled in me that I look for in a guy. Some people ask me if I'm ever super lonely or discouraged because I'm single. And honestly, no. How could I be? My worth is not based on the man who is holding my hand. The guy who gets to hold my hand is a BONUS to my life. Man or no man, I'm still having the time of my life chasing my dreams. The man that God has for me will come into my life at the exact right time.
I also hope that girls realize that just because you CAN be in a relationship doesn't mean you SHOULD be in one. I mean, I'm farrrr from a super model but I've had my fair share of date offers. There has been some super, amazing men of God that have asked me out but I just never felt a green light from God. I want the man that I get in a relationship with to be who God wants me to be with. I've fought with God a little on this one before. There has been one super amazing and godly man that "pursued" me but God said no.
Anyone can have sex. Anyone. Not anyone can resist those temptations and enter marriage a virgin with a pure heart. I honestly cannot think of a better gift that I'll be able to give my husband when we get married than that. And besides that, sex complicates things. It takes the focus of the relationship off of making the emotional bond stronger and allows a physical bond to get stronger. And, a stronger emotional bond is what you want. I don't want to be in a relationship with just sex and no feelings. And, I honestly don't think anyone wants that.
I try to stay positive and encourage girls that it's okay in these single seasons to question God. I mean, I'm super fun. I wish I had someone to go to shows with or to hunt with or to just experience life with. My time is coming, though. And so is yours. You're not half a heart looking for your other half. You are a full heart. And your husband will have a full heart. And, together, you'll be two full and amazingly strong beating hearts. Don't put your life on hold waiting for a guy.
The very reason I feel like I'm single in this season of my life is because of the HUGE life changes I'm going through. I'm planning a massive move in the next year that I need to focus on. I need to focus on my relationship with God more. I need to just focus my attention on other things right now. God didn't place a desire in my heart to be married if he wouldn't fulfill it. I STRONGLY believe that. I have that passion because it was placed in my heart by God himself and nothing anyone tells me can change that.
The point of this rambling post, as usual, is to not settle. Be satisfied in your singleness. Be in a relationship with God. Be in a relationship with you. I know that sounds a little crazy BUT work on being the best you that you can be and you'll attract the best him that he can be. There is nothing better than having a guilt free conscious at night. Thank God that he is on your side and that he is preparing a man for you. I mean, God and I talk on the reg and I KNOW that my husband is going to be one good looking son of a gun. But, I have to trust and wait and pray. It's that simple. There is no trick or shortcut to it. You have to learn to be happy with yourself. You have to learn to be happy single. Because, the blessing after being content while single will be the relationship and marriage of a lifetime!



  1. I always love your singleness posts but this one takes the cake!! LOVE!

    xoxo A

  2. I LOVE this and needed it today! Thank you!!