Wednesday, April 30, 2014

life worth living

Tonight is definitely going to sound more like a diary entry than a blog post. That is, after all, why I started Southern Samplings. I needed an outlet to just write and post with no real intention of anyone reading except those who God lead here through whatever circumstance.
 
I cannot even begin to say thank you to every sweet girl (and guy) who randomly sends me emails of encouragement because I know that they are NOT random. I know that God has placed each of you in my life if only to converse through one email. It makes me so happy to know that there are other women in the world who believe in purity and believe in a life where we seek God first.
 
If you were to pick random posts from this blog, you'd probably think that I just really love country music. You'd probably think that I get really cool opportunities and have made some amazing friends in an industry full of lights and cameras and people. But, if you were to talk to me--even in the middle of a sold out Luke Bryan concert--it's my prayer that you still see Jesus before you see "writer" or "concert goer" or whatever else you may see.
 
I don't mean to harp a lot when I get emails from people who disagree with me for whatever reason and it's my April resolution to absolutely not give those people any more attention. I know that when people are being negative towards me, it's not because of anything I have personally done to them because I've never met the people behind the weightless comments. I believe that I have a story worth telling, and I believe that everyone in the world does, too. I LOVE hearing other's stories and their dreams and even their trials. Life is a big puzzle of pieces that have victories, defeats, and trials written on them.
 
A big part of my puzzle is my relationship with Christ. And, I honestly pray that is what others see when they look at my "puzzle" of life as well. I've been outspoken on here and other social media about my decision to remain pure until marriage. Is it an easy decision? Obviously not. Is it the right decision? For me, it is.
 
I have the privilege of leading a small group on Wednesday nights at my church and we are reading a book called "Lady in Waiting." You may have heard of it, and if not, PLEASE, go buy it! :)
It's been my guidebook to life behind my Bible since I was a sophomore in college. My sorority sister introduced me to the book after we were leaving church one Sunday and it's revolutionized my life.
 
I want every word that I speak to be words that encourage and lift other people up. I want to be able to pray for people when they need it. And, I pray that my decision to remain pure until marriage is one that other girls would decide is right for them, too.
 
So, after tonight, there were just 4 or 5 points that we talked about that I really just wanted to write down here for myself to be able to reference to. And, maybe someone else will need to hear it, too.
1. Incompleteness if not the result of being single but of not being full of Jesus.
 
Okay, wow. This statement stood out to me for SO many reasons. I was raised that I would meet the man who I would marry when I was ready to. I was raised to pray for my future spouse when I did the whole "true love waits" ceremony when I was 16. But, it's so much more than a pledge. The man that you marry is suppose to be number 2 in your life. Second only to God. That means that he is above family and friends. That means that you probably don't want to meet this "man" while he's hanging onto you at a bar because he's so drunk he can't stand. I mean, maybe that's your story, but I really pray it's not mine. I want to meet a man of God that it's so obvious he loves God. I don't want to meet someone and have to wonder if they love God. And, when will I meet that person? Only after I've acknowledged that I'm a complete person because of Jesus and not because of a man. Know your worth. You aren't half a heart looking for your other half. You have a complete heart seeking another heart that beats to the same purpose and pattern. Don't label yourself as incomplete because you're lacking a man. You're complete in God--a husband is a bonus.
 
2. You were not created to complete another, but to complement.
 
This goes along with the last few sentences in number one but it's so true. The guy that I liked in college LOVED sports so I tried to be this super amazing sports fan. I mean, I can tell you any definition of anything in football but I hated it. I mean, yes, I'll be at most home Alabama football games and the occasional Braves games BUT I don't have to be their number one fan. That's okay. The saying "opposites attract" has truth to it. In a relationship, you should be able to have hobbies and activities that you do without your boyfriend/husband. That's healthy. That's how you continue to grow. Learn how to complement them--don't suffocate them with trying to become every thing they are.
 
3. Is your life on hold until you have someone to hold?
AHHHH. This one hit me the hardest--and for good reasons. Are you a girl that HAS to have a boyfriend? Do you think you can't make that move or job change or address change until you have the perfect boyfriend? Ladies, that's such a destructive way to think. I mean, Jesus himself was single his whole life. (Don't get me wrong. I fully believe that if you have the desire to get married, Jesus will fulfill it). But, if you don't start LIVING until you have a boyfriend, I'm afraid you'll miss and may have already missed a bunch of life. If I let potential relationships dictate my plans, I'd never go or do anything. I feel like women today have lost their ability to dream and live a little. I've received countless emails from girls who settled in a marriage or relationship just because they were scared of life without a man. The only man you should be concerned with living without is God. :) I promise God will not put a desire in your heart with no intention of honoring it. But, you have to do your part to. Trust God. If you don't think you are suppose to be in a relationship with your boyfriend, get out of a dead relationship. And, while you are waiting--do not put your life on hold. I've been ALL over the United States traveling and meeting and doing and writing because I simply refuse to settle. Sure, I'm no Victoria Secret model but I do get interest from some guys. And, if I decided to date one of them just because it's fun to be in a relationship, I wouldn't be anywhere near where I am today. Just trust. And live a FULL life before a relationship. Just imagine how much more FULL life will be after you get in a relationship if you live that way before one.
 
4. God wants you to remain pure before marriage to protect you from consequences.
 
This may be the one that a lot of people get offended or stop reading at--and that's okay. But, sex is such a huge thing in our society today and no one ever even talks about it. I watched this video around Valentine's Day (I don't remember the name or where I saw it or any details other than the message). But, the jist of the video was talking about how twisted our view of sex. From the world's point of view, sex is fun and has little consequences if you're careful. From a somewhat biblical point of view, sex is "bad" before marriage and then just a reward for married people. What the man in this video pointed out though, is what is much deeper than the physical connection of sex--and that's the spiritual and emotional connection. God created us with the intention to have that connection with one person. So, every time you have sex with someone, you're literally creating a bond with them. The more you have sex, the stronger the bond. You can see how this would be a good thing in a marriage. But, before marriage, girls just keep creating bonds with guys and then literally breaking those bonds when they break up and start a bond with someone else. THAT is extremely dangerous to someone's mind and heart. Value yourself enough to be able to say no. I won't push my beliefs on anyone BUT I can say that when I get married, I'll be able to make that bond with one man. And, it'll be the ultimate gift to be able to tell him I waited for him.
 
 
These are just a few points that we talked about tonight that really helped me be okay with being single. When the time comes and when I'm ready, I'll be in a relationship with the right person. Until then, I'll keep living life large and I pray you do the same. :)
 
Happy Wednesday!

2 comments :

  1. thank you for writing this.
    Love, Julia D

    ReplyDelete
  2. Beautiful! Is this book appropriate for a girl 15 years old, if not can you recommend one for girls just starting to date....?

    ReplyDelete