Sunday, June 8, 2014

modest is not hottest.

Happy Sunday :)

I hope everyone had a fantastic weekend!! I know that I did. Every time I go to Nashville it gets harder to leave. And while tomorrow's post is FULL of country goodness, today I'm taking a time out from reporting on all things great in country music world to talk about something that's been on my heart lately. And that something is modesty.
I started Southern Samplings as a lifestyle blog to write about recipes, DIY projects and to just write about life. I have always loved writing and I figured a blog was a good outlet for that. I'm also a Christian so I would/still do write about that. My relationship with God is the most important relationship in my life. It's such a big part of my life it's only obvious that I would blog about it. Being a Christian isn't the easiest thing in the world but it is the most rewarding. I've talked numerous times about how I sat alone for weeks during my senior year because all my friends got mad at me for not drinking with them at prom. I was the vice president of my sorority in college that arranged "social events" at church. It's just part of me and I don't apologize for it. Of course, I'm not saying or even thinking that I'm perfect. I mess up every single day. But the cool part of being a Christian is that there is grace--that's how you move forward.
Why all these rabbit trails and why not just talk about what I started to post to talk about? I know, I know. But, if this is a new reader, they need a little back story. I was raised by parents who do not drink or partake in anything that may hinder themselves or others. I honestly cannot thank God enough for my parents. I'm glad that I never had to turn to alcohol or drugs or sex to feel worthy, I knew from the moment I could remember things that God was for me. I knew what it meant to know that someone was always there for me. I knew right from wrong. I knew how amazing and fulfilling Christ was--and still is.
The problem where a lot of people stumble with Christianity is people who say one thing and do another. How can people take our advice seriously if we are saying one thing but doing another? Think about it.
So, when I was in Nashville this past weekend there was a girl standing beside me who was talking about her wild night she had the night before. She was wearing a tank top that showed half her stomach, shorts that might as well been panties, boots and ray bans. She was going on and on about this wild night for at least 10 minutes to the girl beside her. Then, in between sets, her phone rang. From what I could gather, it was her mother. She told her she had gone to bed early the night before and would see her on Sunday for church.
WHAT. FOR CHURCH? I'm 1000% positive my mouth hit the ground. Ha.
Here's the problem. From the moment I saw the girl beside me for the first time, church was the first thing I thought she needed but the last place I thought she would be. That's judgmental of me and I apologize but I've got to be real about this.
There is a phrase that is associated with modesty that a lot of "Christians" or conservatives say and that phrase is "modest is hottest."
Let me please say that I HATE this phrase with probably the most passion that I could. Modest is NOT hottest.
If you are trying to be modest, there is simply no way to be hot. I'm sorry but there's not.
Modesty is defined as a mode of dress and deportment intended to avoid encouraging sexual attraction in others.
Okay, so then let's look at the word "hot." When a group of 100 men were surveyed and asked what were synonyms for the word "hot," their responses were as follows: sexy, tasty, delicious, fine, spicy, and so on. I'm sorry but I don't think that you can be modest and sexy.
And, furthermore, I definitely do not want my future husband to meet me for the first time and think that I'm tasty or hot or sexy.
I realize this is a foreign concept and may even make some of you mad or not like me. And that is okay. These are my convictions, my research and my beliefs. You can see how a woman cannot be modest and hot at the same time.
I want to encourage women to want to be modest. There is nothing wrong with covering that belly button and putting on actual shorts and getting respect from a man worthy of your time. So many girls will complain that there are no guys left. Well, to their defense, if you dress like a piece of meat, you cannot be mad when they treat you as a delicious, tasty piece of meat.
Women--we have SO much more to offer than our bodies. If you use your body to attract a man, you'll have to use it to keep him, too. And, I promise that is not what God intended and that is not what you want to have to do. You are intelligent and beautiful and worthy. The right man will recognize this. Honor yourself and present yourself in a modest way.
I know, I know. Some of you are thinking how easy it is for me to be modest. And, I will confess, I've never had a problem with being modest. Granted, I'm not a Victoria Secret model and I would never dress in a sexy way. But, I don't want to be a model. I don't want to be viewed as meat. I don't want a guy to like me because I'm "hot" or "attractive." I want a guy to be attracted  to me because he sees God in me. I want him to fall in love with me because I'm intelligent and I value myself.
This is my biggest prayer for girls. That you will see yourself in a positive way. That you will seek an emotional/spiritual relationship with a man before you ever pursue a physical one.
I pray that you realize that attention you get from a male should be positive and encouraging and not degrading. I promise you that saving yourself for marriage is NOT a decision you will regret. I promise you with my whole soul that your value is not based on how many guys think you're hot. You're worth more.

Be modest because it's attractive in the RIGHT way and it attracts the RIGHT kind of man.

1 comment :

  1. AMEN! AMEN! AMEN to that Sister in Christ..

    May God's great Shalom be upon you always.