Wednesday, April 8, 2015

montevallo:the meaning of my life.


Happy Wednesday, friends! It feels SO good to be sitting here writing again. I have a new commitment to this blog as well as a new look to it as well. 

 I have missed writing for the past few months more than I realized until I started at it again. I've written before at how powerful words and stories are to me. I think that's a big reason that I love songwriters as much as I do. They can tell a whole story in 3 and a half minutes sometimes. Words hurt, yes. But more often that hurt, words heal. They have for me, anyways. 

I've always been a dreamer. I was born with feet that are not happy to stay in Montevallo, Alabama for all my days. I love traveling, love visiting new places and adore the people I meet along the way. Part of being a big dreamer, though, in my life, is the big disappointments that sometimes accompany those big dreams. I had a move planned to Nashville a few weeks ago when some things beyond my control happened and here I am, still in Montevallo. I got angry. I cried. I slept. I essentially gave up on the dream all together. I didn't pray or ask God why. For a few days, I simply ignored him. 

That last sentence was hard to type. I wrote it and back spaced it three times before deciding to leave it. I did it for two reasons. I want to be honest with people and I want people to know that while sometimes my life appears perfect and seamless, it is not. I'm not complaining, though. Let me say that right here. The people and friends and relationships in my life are amazing and I'm so grateful. But, for few days, my life sucked. It was hard. It wasn't the answer I wanted and it still isn't. But, you know what? Just because I didn't move to Nashville, TN on March 20 does not mean that I'm not going to still move there. I don't know if it will be 8 more days, weeks or months but I'm still going. When I woke up with that realization I cried again but this time because of how grateful I was that Jesus was right there where I left him a few days before.

I found the various quotes above last night on Pinterest that got my wheels turning to want to write about this all today. I had an out of this world opportunity presented to me in Nashville that didn't work out. That was ONE opportunity. ONE of maybe 20 that will fall apart before the perfect one falls together. And, I realized I was playing small because life broke my heart. Get that last part, friends. Life (circumstances, people, ideas) is what broke my heart. Jesus did not break my heart. He was right there waiting to put it back together. These situations that have given me what I thought were bruises--maybe they're just scars reminding me that I showed up to life and that I survived. A lesson learned. An opportunity that taught me how to handle the next disappointment. 

I've let my big dreams come between my relationship with Jesus over the last few months. Not intentionally in any way at all but they have. It's a process learning how to surrender those dreams at the feet of Jesus and trust that with him, the dream we will reach together will bring so much joy and contentment I won't even be able to understand until it happens. 

So, maybe no one else is going through a time or a situation that fell apart. If you're not, I'm so thankful for you. If you are, please know that you're not alone. Whether it be a job or relationship or vacation, you're not alone in your disappointment. A really smart man told me a few months ago that "emotions make life worth living." He was right. Emotions make life worth living--the highs and the lows of emotions. It's all worth it. 


Montevallo means "mountains and valleys" in Spanish. It's kind of fitting that Montevallo is the exact location I'm at right now--taking me through these ups and downs. It's neat to take a look at the meaning of the words of the places around you. I love calling Montevallo home. I love the lessons it has/is still teaching me. I don't take a moment of this journey for granted.












5 comments :

  1. I love the meaning of Montevallo. I feel like life is full of mountains and valleys. It's just how it goes sometimes. I know that you'll get where you're supposed to be, when you're supposed to be there. I'm glad you came to that realization.
    xx. Brittany
    Life Like a Twenty Something

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  2. I love your analogy to Montavallo, so interesting! Head up, love :)

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  3. I ran across an article that had an awesome point, we think God won't give us more than we can handle, but that's not biblical!
    Our whole relationship with Christ is based on our inadequacy, He WILL give us more than we can handle, so our only way to make it is to rely on Him.
    Natasha
    A modest fashion blog: www.natashaatkerson.blogspot.com

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  4. I truly appreciate your honesty in this post, and I know all of your readers do. Sometimes life is simply frustrating, no matter how positive you try to be. Montevallo is such a beautiful analogy for life. Keep your head up and you will end up where you belong.

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  5. Love you & this post so much. I am going to be selfish and say that I can't wait until you are in Nashville... because it's closer to me, and I can come visit you!! I'm so proud of you for always following your dreams & always being the one to encourage others to do so, as well. You are so genuine, and I'm thankful to call you a friend!!

    XX, SS || A Little Seersucker Sass

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