Tuesday, March 31, 2015

be yourself.

 Well, there's been a major time out taken by me for this little blog of mine. I could come up with a lot of different reasons as to why--busy, work, friends, boys, church, etc. but the main reason has been I've simply not been that inspired lately to write.

I've been inspired to live and travel and seek and dream and do--but somewhere in the past few months, I've honestly not been inspired to write. Then, out of no where, I've been itching to get to this blank space for the past few days and I've finally got a little time to just write. Which, here will be my warning that when I get these bursts to write, it normally has NO flow and probably reads as scattered because that's how it was written. But, it just feels good to write sometimes.

I've had the absolute pleasure of meeting so many people via social media over the past few years. And, each of these unique individuals have even more unique stories. I'm obsessed with reading. I love going to this little coffee shop/book store in Montevallo and just searching forever for a good book to read. I love stories. I think this is why I love reading emails from people who I've never met that tell me their stories. Each story is like another book. And lately, I've been getting a lot of sad stories. Stories of people who have been hurt by other people. And, quite frankly, I don't like those stories. I pray for each of your hearts when I get those stories. I want you to know that I'm even praying for the people who hurt you, too.
I had a less than stellar high school experience. My friends got mad at me after prom when I decided I didn't want to drink with them. It was rough. It was mean and I graduated (from a small, private Christian school) with no real friends. The one guy I really liked in college got mad at me when I said I was a virgin and wouldn't sleep with him. I've had complete strangers write hurtful things in anonymous emails. I want you to know that words hurt. Yes, punches and slaps hurt, too. But words destroy. And, if there's one resounding truth I've learned it's that if you're doing life right, you're going to have people who attack you for that. People are mean to me because I'm a virgin and because I don't get drunk and they're even mean to me because of the friends I have now. And, it hurts but just today I stumbled across this little nugget of truth, 
"No one gets to have a place in your mind if they weren’t invited there by you. So please do me this one favor: Don’t let their ugly words into your beautiful mind."

I know it's easy to say things like "well, I didn't invite them, they walked up to me and said this and that or they sent me an email saying this or that." That's not what I got from this quote. What I took from this quote is to simply not give space in your mind to those words people say to you. If you need to unfriend someone so they can't contact you, do it. If you need to get out of a toxic relationship, do it. Have courage to not invite those words and those people in your mind. Please.

I've learned over the past year that you can have a plan of what you're life to look like. You can want to have a relationship with the ultimate prep with his button up polo and loafers and some ultra hip guy with oversized tshirts will walk in and be the one to sweep you off your feet. You can plan to move to your dream city and watch your plans crumble only to have an offer from an unimaginable company in said dream city be offered months later. What I'm trying to say is don't get so caught up in the planning and details of life that you miss other (often times better) opportunities handed to you. Don't listen to the negative things people say. If you want to do something, then you go right ahead and you do it.

I'm saying this to myself when I say I need to let life happen more and pray more and worry less. I need to stop letting people who tell me I'm not good enough a space in my mind. I need to be better at encouraging and praying and supporting others. This whole post could be just a mere pact to myself to simply not dwell on the negatives any longer. 

If you're being bullied, I am sorry. Please know that I know words and punches hurt BUT your precious heart can handle it. You may fall down but you'll get up stronger. Someone may say no to you but keep the faith that a better yes is coming next. You may lose friends, you may lose relationships but I PROMISE whatever is next will be worth it.

If you need someone to listen to your story, email me. Tweet me, text me, message me. I promise I'll listen. I probably can't do a lot but I can pray. Please just don't stop being yourself. You are the only person that can be you and you're doing a good job at it. Just remember that there are lots of hurting people in the world. Pray for those people but please don't ever become one of them. :)
I may be a complete stranger to you and that's okay. ZERO people may read this--and that's okay, too. Just know that you are awesome, Jesus loves you and you're gonna MAKE IT!!!!!